I have a confession to make. I’m getting a little tired of the Keys. I know, I know. It’s blasphemy. But I feel the need to roam. The need to move. But what I really, really need is to learn to be bored.
Hear me out. I REALLY thought that I was very good at being alone. And I am. In a controlled environment, with all my stuff around me, and the ability to call on anyone at anytime if I want to get out and do stuff. So what I was actually comfortable with was comfort. Knowing that I didn’t have to be alone if I didn’t want to was what I was good at. As in, it was my choice when I was alone.
And now I’m here in the Keys where EVERYONE only wants to fish and drink. And everyone you meet seems like a friend at the time and they want to exchange numbers and say let’s go out on the boat. Super chill and you feel like every person is the most amazing person you’ve ever met. The only thing is, none of them really seem to mean it. I am 100% genuine when I say ALL THEY WANT TO DO is fish and drink. People genuinely live on boats anchored out in the water, and they never leave. They sit all day, music blaring, just doing nothing. (Some people really do work. And I recognize that. So those people, please don’t feel like I’m blasting you. I know I’m not working right now, so I’m not completely living blind.)
I’m not wired that way. I’m wired for movement. For busy. For To-Do lists. And that wiring isn’t good for me. For my spirit. I need, more than anything, to learn how to be bored. I need to sit my butt down here in the Keys for the next 2 weeks as planned, and BE BORED. That’s the only way I am going to be able to finally hear that voice inside of me that will let me know who I really am and what I really want to do. Y’all, I needed to come back here. I needed to in a way I can’t explain. To anyone. I was called to it. I was at peace the week I was here last month. Calm and quiet. And that’s what drove me to change my original plans (pesky To-Do list) and come back.
And now. Well. Now I’m getting uncomfortable. Because now I’m being forced to sit still. To not go and do. To be alone. WITH MYSELF. And what if I’m not as cool and awesome and funny and smart and amazing as I thought I was??? That’s super scary to me. It goes against every fiber of my being to do this, but now I have to make myself sit with the uncomfortable. Now I have to sit with just myself. And my thoughts. And get to know ME.
I really, really think it’s time we meet. No matter how uncomfortable and awkward it gets. (I’m the queen of awkward.) It’s been a long time coming.
#queenofawkward #hotpinkhippie #getuncomfortable #havewemet #travel #wanderlust #adventure #learntobebored #hippiegirl #rvlife #threedogsandablog #makingmemoriesallovertheworld